Top 15 things guys need to stop doing on Tinder

I have been out of the dating scene for quite a while and a friend told me about this Tinder app so I figured what the heck. At the very least, I might meet some new people and be able to do the stuff I already do anyway like running, swimming, biking or seeing a live show. 

If you don't know what Tinder is - it is an app that links your Facebook account pictures, your first name and age which is then linked to your GPS on your phone so it shows you people that are near you. You can then choose which profile pictures you want to be shown and write up a brief profile description. 

You then choose to Like the profile or Nope the profile. You are liking profiles anonymously and if the other person likes you as well - then you are a match and can communicate through chat with that person. 

I have been on this thing for a couple of weeks and if guys want a right swipe I am going to just list a few pointers from my perspective (right swipe is "like", left swipe is "nope"). I am either totally judgemental or maybe I am not alone and other single ladies might be thinking the same things. I have examples men - so please take note.  I blacked out faces and names so I don't get sued. I only chose a few for each so I wouldn't be editing a ton of pictures but if they are on this list - there were multiple offenders. I am based in Austin, TX so maybe these trends are just a southern thing. 

1. You and pictures of your kids
 I am a parent and I absolutely love my kids.  This is a public app and anyone can join or find you and no I will not be posting pictures of them - I wish you wouldn't either. 

If you post pics with your kids I assume you don't care what girl you are currently dating comes into their lives and I absolutely am not going to do that. I won't be introducing a man to my kids unless I know it's very serious and marriage is being talked about. I know I might be in the minority with this decision and other ladies might want to see pictures of your kids if you have them.  I do not. I feel very strongly about protecting my children as much as possible. If you have kids in your pictures and it is not noted in your profile description that it is a niece or nephew or someone else's kid, it's a nope for me. 

2. You and anything you shot or caught 
No I don't want to see you posing with the big ass fish you caught, or the massive boar, deer, turkey or whatever animal you killed and have displayed in front of you with blood everywhere. If you like hunting, by all means hunt but I don't want to see your 'trophy' in one of the few pictures you have available to show. The pictures of you are supposed to make me want to get to know you more - and you posing next to a dead animal doesn't make me like you any better. Left Swipe. 

3. You and your abs in the mirror of your bathroom
PLEASE STOP. Every single one I see is a NOPE. Even if the guy is super hot and has great abs, it's just no. Surely you can go to Barton Springs or a public pool or the lake or SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR BATHROOM in your swimsuit and get someone to take a picture of you so you can show off your abs. Lake/river/pool pics are perfectly fine. I instantly think three things - a. you have no friends b. you are extremely self absorbed or c. you are posting pics that you sent to last night's hook up.   

4. You and one photo of yourself Post multiple pictures. Some of the profiles have one blurry far away picture and I can't even tell what I am looking at, or it's a picture of a keyboard. Some have no picture at all - why bother? I left swipe on every profile that just has one picture - sorry. 

5. You and your tattoos
I am all for someone having tattoos but you don't have to show a close up of the favorite tat you do have. in a picture. By itself. Left swipe.

6.  You and your cars,trucks, motorcycles, boats, etc.
 WHY? Why do you have to put a picture of a car that may or may not even be yours or you posing in front of one? I have a feeling those profiles might not be getting a ton of matches but maybe I am misjudging humanity entirely. I'm fine if you have a motorcycle and there is a pic of you riding it - but not by itself. 

7. You and your guns and ammo
I have nothing against guys owning guns or shooting them but seriously - why do you have to post it on Tinder? Is it like the big truck syndrome that is making up for something else? I actually think you are a douche posing with your automatic weapons. The only exception for me are pictures from serving in the military because it's your job. Everything else is a left swipe. 

8. You and your exes
Look I know there will be a few pictures of you and a girl thrown in there but when all pictures are with the same girl  - or you have a picture with your ex-wife and kids from who knows when that just screams to me that you are either newly separated, looking for a rebound or you might still be in the relationship - NOPE. Surely you can find a friend to take a pic of you ASAP without the ex and especially with out the ex and your kids. PLEASE stay away from pictures with brides! Yes, it could be your sister or friend or whatever but please - no. Left Swipe.

9. You and your middle finger
Just so you know - it's not funny or endearing or cool. Ever. Left Swipe.  

10. You and food pictures
This is not instagram - and speaking of - no I don't want to check out your IG and I would never post my snapchat/IG, kik or whatever other social media account I have on a public site. I do not mind if some people post their website if they work for themselves or are promoting their independent business. A personal account - not so much.  My social media accounts that I have are actually for people that really know me personally. 

11. You and Uncle Rico syndrome 
I searched all ages to get a nice peppering of what not to post. If you have been out of college for more than 2 years and you are still posting pictures of you from your college or high school sports glory days...nope.  If I were in my twenties I would totally think you are Uncle Rico and I would swipe left.  

12. You and your animals 
Yes, I  am totally cool with seeing you petting your dog, or cuddling with your cat or posing with your favorite pet - but just your dog/cat/pig or whatever by itself is a bit much.  Try to incorporate your pet in the picture with you. 2-3 pictures of your dog or cat by themselves is kinda weird. I have a one picture limit of your animal by itself.  

13. You and tigers
This trend surprised me. There are multiple pictures by different guys posing next to tigers.. You don't work at a zoo and it doesn't impress me that you went somewhere to take pictures with a tiger and then believe that it is the coolest picture you have to put on your Tinder profile. Ladies, am I alone in this sentiment? Left swipe. 

14. You and Top Golf
This was kind of an epidemic. I would rather see someone on a real golf course playing real golf than the obligatory "I went to Top Golf and may or may not be able to hit a golf ball" picture. Not impressed. 

15. You and WTF
Just sharing a few random pictures that I have no way to classify. NO, just NO. 

A good profile to me has a short description at the very least with your location (I do read profile descriptions!) and not listing all the things you hate (too negative). At the very least please list where you live - Austin has stuff going on ALL the time and you could be from out of town and I usually do not like profiles that I know are just visiting. 

In terms of pictures, a close up of your face that is not blurry (not a zoomed in pic of a far away original pic), a picture of you out with friends or doing something you like, a picture that shows your personality or things you enjoy doing. Group pictures are fine but please don't have them with all girls and post your solo close up picture first so I'm not wondering 3 pictures in which one you are (you can edit which one shows up first in your preferences). 

 If you can portray that you are having fun, seem normal and that you have personality, you have a chance.  If all your pictures aren't in your home (please stay away from the bathroom) or car and you match what I am looking for, you will probably get a right swipe.

If you are active that is great - but I prefer not all of your pictures to be action shots or you playing a guitar or the drums or being a dj. The other offenders are triathletes and crossfitters. If you throw a stick in Austin you will hit someone that does triathlons, crossfit or plays in a band. Just keep it to one picture  of each category of what you love doing. I even did a tri last year, but I didn't choose that pic as one of my profile pics, either. Variety is key. 

I don't want this to be an entirely negative post. There are actually some funny ones below that I did think were original, that stood out and are worthy of a like. Humor is a great quality - even if you aren't super hot or posing next to a tiger.  If you are funny and I can totally get your sense of humor in a few pictures, that is better than looks for sure. 

Keep on Tindering. I am sure there is a list that can be made for the women too (aka duckface) - but a guy totally needs to write that, not me. I also want to note that I am a girl and it's not my job to message a guy. Yes, I am sure based on the profile descriptions I have read, there are many ladies that match with you and don't ever message back - but don't take it personally. I feel like for some this just might be an app that serves as a nice ego boost.

If you don't ever try to contact anyone - you won't ever know so you might as well delete the app if you are going to sit around and wait for a girl to contact you. I am not messaging guys that I match with. If you do message someone and they don't reply - what do you have to lose? Nothing. I used to be the pursuer and that equaled disaster in the long run for me in my past relationships so I'm not doing that any more. It never hurts to show ladies that chivalry is not dead. 

What else is super annoying that you have seen guys post on Tinder? I am sure there must be different trends in different places but this is what is going on near Austin, TX.