Top 15 things guys need to stop doing on Tinder

I have been out of the dating scene for quite a while and a friend told me about this Tinder app so I figured what the heck. At the very least, I might meet some new people and be able to do the stuff I already do anyway like running, swimming, biking or seeing a live show. 

If you don't know what Tinder is - it is an app that links your Facebook account pictures, your first name and age which is then linked to your GPS on your phone so it shows you people that are near you. You can then choose which profile pictures you want to be shown and write up a brief profile description. 

You then choose to Like the profile or Nope the profile. You are liking profiles anonymously and if the other person likes you as well - then you are a match and can communicate through chat with that person. 

I have been on this thing for a couple of weeks and if guys want a right swipe I am going to just list a few pointers from my perspective (right swipe is "like", left swipe is "nope"). I am either totally judgemental or maybe I am not alone and other single ladies might be thinking the same things. I have examples men - so please take note.  I blacked out faces and names so I don't get sued. I only chose a few for each so I wouldn't be editing a ton of pictures but if they are on this list - there were multiple offenders. I am based in Austin, TX so maybe these trends are just a southern thing. 

1. You and pictures of your kids
 I am a parent and I absolutely love my kids.  This is a public app and anyone can join or find you and no I will not be posting pictures of them - I wish you wouldn't either. 

If you post pics with your kids I assume you don't care what girl you are currently dating comes into their lives and I absolutely am not going to do that. I won't be introducing a man to my kids unless I know it's very serious and marriage is being talked about. I know I might be in the minority with this decision and other ladies might want to see pictures of your kids if you have them.  I do not. I feel very strongly about protecting my children as much as possible. If you have kids in your pictures and it is not noted in your profile description that it is a niece or nephew or someone else's kid, it's a nope for me. 

2. You and anything you shot or caught 
No I don't want to see you posing with the big ass fish you caught, or the massive boar, deer, turkey or whatever animal you killed and have displayed in front of you with blood everywhere. If you like hunting, by all means hunt but I don't want to see your 'trophy' in one of the few pictures you have available to show. The pictures of you are supposed to make me want to get to know you more - and you posing next to a dead animal doesn't make me like you any better. Left Swipe. 

3. You and your abs in the mirror of your bathroom
PLEASE STOP. Every single one I see is a NOPE. Even if the guy is super hot and has great abs, it's just no. Surely you can go to Barton Springs or a public pool or the lake or SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR BATHROOM in your swimsuit and get someone to take a picture of you so you can show off your abs. Lake/river/pool pics are perfectly fine. I instantly think three things - a. you have no friends b. you are extremely self absorbed or c. you are posting pics that you sent to last night's hook up.   

Dating Should be like Interviews

**From the summer of 2013. I am kind of a serial blogger so I'm starting new with just relationship related posts. 

I had a conversation with one of my friends the other day about my lack of desire to date at this point in my life. I respond with my usual explanation of having 2 kids under 10, a lot of responsibility and time to devote to my career and of course I have limited time on my weekends without the kids. The response from my friend was "that sounds like fear talking". Actually, no last year fear was screaming at me to keep myself cocooned in my little world but this past summer I did venture out,  go on a few dates and I just lost the energy I had to begin with only 4 or 5 dates later. If I keep dating, I could probably meet a few interesting people, get some nice meals out of it and have some funny stories, but the entire act of 'dating' is exhausting to me. I don't have the time or emotional energy it takes to really try and right now, I don't want to. 

I signed up for e-harmony and tried to do the Internet dating thing. I was hoping the myriad of questions everyone has to answer would have weeded out certain types but there were limited matches and a whole bunch that I would not even consider going on a first date with. 

I hate the stigma that dating brings. You wear your best outfit, I wear mine, we both look our best and go somewhere cool or neat or different and see if we have anything interesting to talk about. I am talking to you but really wondering if you fart all the time or if you leave the toilet seat up. Why can't we do a set of interview questions like companies do? Some people stay at their employer for 5 years or more so of course as a company the questions are pretty extensive to make sure the interviewee will be a good match. Picking an employee is hard - you have maybe 2 or 3 interviews to do it and that's it.  After that process you expect the working relationship to be good. People date for YEARS before they figure out they might want to spend the rest of their lives together. I think part of it for me is just being inpatient. Please tell me all of your issues now so I can decide if I can accept you for your good and bad instead of months or years from now. We all have issues - we are all flawed and we all know that - so just cut to the chase because I don't want to build up trust with someone only to find out some hidden skeleton way back in the back closet that just can't be ignored or overlooked because in reality it is a deal breaker. 

I hate losing hope in humanity. I am pretty cynical these days because my experience has shown me there aren't a whole lot of normal, responsible and available good guys out there looking for the same things I am. I'm sorry but if you have addiction issues, I'm out. I struggle with smoking and codependency but I am working on those things. The problem is when you think about or do something too much to where it takes away from your day to day quality of life - that's a problem and no one with addiction issues can have a healthy relationship - trust me I know from past experience. 

I am fully aware that being single has it's privileges and I do embrace them at times, but then when I am going it alone at concerts or big events, I have that little part of me that reminds myself it would have been nice to share that moment with someone else. People need people - I miss a connection, a belief that someone does enjoy spending time with me or wants to be with me. I don't miss it enough to go through a bunch of wasted time and dates with other people that one day I won't even remember their names. I also don't miss it enough to emotionally invest in something that I know is not for me just so I can spend it with someone vs. being alone. I am inching  up on 40 and I have no desire to casually date or just hook up with someone. I thought about it and I'm sure I could find a willing participant but emotions are still involved and the payoff is not worth the disaster that could later ensue. So for now, I sit here and do my thing with work and kids although with a little tiny glimmer of hope for a future one day with someone that would actually be my better half, not my half that causes my life to be harder than it really has to be.